Nearly two months ago…
I got ‘vid.
And by ‘vid, I mean IT
And by IT, I mean… C Ohhhhhhh v i d.
Honestly, I don’t even like saying it.
My sense of taste and smell disappeared right in the middle of dinner one night. That was fun. I had known, something was up, but I had been semi hoping, that it was it, semi hoping that it wasn’t. A mixed bag of the unknown, trusting for what was best.
When my test came back positive I was relieved and incredibly grateful.
1. I was able to quarantine without the risk of infecting ANYONE ELSE.
2. I got to spend a lot of time with Jesus.
3. It answered the whole “Are you getting the vaccine?” question…at least for now.
4. I couldn’t have asked for it at a better time truly I mean there is never a good time to get sick but I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, there were no tiny friendish events I was going to miss, God is just plain good at His timing.
Confession.
It was also harder than I anticipated. Quarantining physically alone was hard. Around day six I might have been curled up in a ball on my bed crying. Maybe, who knows….
However, it was also a time of healing, in a unique way. While it was bothersome to be physically alone and unable to really see anyone at all…the community around me shocked me to tears multiple times.
A few years ago I was a missionary in a foreign country and I was sick. Very sick, not once but twice, and while I wasn’t physically alone, I was emotionally abandoned by my fellow coworkers. Who were….missionaries with me. I won’t go into detail, but it was difficult and I came away from that situation doubting Christianity…if this was the way Christians would treat others, did I really want to be one? I trembled at the edge with that question tipping the scale back and forth wondering if I wanted to stay on this “merry-go-round.” I wanted Jesus but the rest of it?
With this sickness two people reached out to me and offered to bring meals to me, which I was very reluctant to accept, however as I found I was getting weaker as ‘vid progressed I realized that I needed help and I needed to be okay, saying “Yes, please, I need help.” (I am stubborn about asking for assistance. It’s not something I like to say. I’d rather just…not inconvenience anyone, and as I mentioned in my previous experience abroad, sometimes I doubt that even if asked, help will arrive.)
To be honest, I was blown away. It was so different, the love, prayers and so much more from the body of Christ around me…awed my fractured and mistrusting heart. People reached out to me and let me know they cared and I was in their prayers and I wept. In some ways, I didn’t know what to do with it, or almost how to accept their love and outpouring of concern. The contrast was so sharp from my previous experience…I am struggling to find the words I want to say. But, it touched a scar in my soul and brought a deep healing balm to it.
In Taiwan–once I had asked God where He was in all of the mess, and immediately, He showed me, I was in His lap with my head on His shoulder. I realized that was all I needed, and I clung to that.
This experience, I didn’t doubt where He was, I knew I was in His lap, wrapped in His arms. leaning on Him, but this time it wasn’t just Him. There was a shield wall of warriors around me battling on my behalf. To be loved, sheltered, and cherished by the body of Christ…was a gift…that…I don’t know if I have words for, but, I want to say, Thank you.